On the drive to Connecticut, Kate was texting her contacts to make sure setup was going as planned.  Donnie was thinking.  Now that he knew Kate loved him, he had to push his luck and ask her the questions that had been on his mind lately.  “Hey Kate,” he said once he saw her tuck her phone back into her purse.  “Can we talk about some things?” he asked.

“Like what?” she asked.

He glanced over at her and then put his eyes back on the road.  “I’m not sure how to ask you what I want to know without it sounding accusatory.  Every time I hear myself say it in my mind, it sounds bad.”

She looked over at him. Really studied him.  “Donnie, there are things about my life that I’ve never shared with anyone.  I’ve never let anyone get close enough to me to notice the things that I feel certain you are wondering about.  However, I trust that you will not share anything I tell you with anyone.  So…ask me what you want to know? Everything you want to know and I will discuss it with you here in the car.  But once we get to the Mohegan Sun, it’s done. I won’t talk about it.  I can’t risk anyone overhearing me.”

Donnie took a deep breath.  He knew that she had some sort of big secret, but he hoped it wasn’t something terrible.  “All of the things I want to know are kind of tied together,” he started.  “You told me it had been a long time since you had been on a date back before we started dating.  When I kissed you I expected you to be very” he paused and looked at her “out of practice.  But you weren’t.  When you kiss me I kinda forget everything else exists.  I didn’t even feel you unfasten my belt earlier.” He looked at her and she smiled and shrugged her shoulders.  “Then there’s the whole IUD conversation we had.  Women take the pill for lots of reasons: birth control, to regulate things, better skin, to make their periods shorter and all.  Maybe I am just uninformed, but I keep thinking that if you came off the pill because you are over 35, why did you get an IUD?  Does it have some benefits other than preventing pregnancy?  If you aren’t dating anyone, then do you just have sex with men you aren’t dating?” He looked over at her.  She wasn’t saying anything yet.  “I can’t get my head to believe that you’d just use an IUD for contraception if you were having sex with multiple men. There’s no way someone like you wouldn’t use a condom unless you were in an exclusive relationship.  It’s just not possible.  I’ve tried to figure this out, but I just don’t get it.”

She cleared her throat.  “That’s kinda what I was afraid you were going to ask me about.  This is kind of a long story but we still have a little over an hour, so we’ve got time I guess.  You’ll be disappointed in me, but you should know the truth.  As much of it as I can tell you. If you can, let me tell you everything before you ask me any questions.” He nodded his head. She took a drink of water and started talking.

“When I was a new nurse, I took care of a man that was well-known.  I had a crush on him prior to taking care of him.  He flirted endlessly with me while I was his nurse.  He was totally inappropriate.  After he went home, he somehow tracked me down and invited me to a party at his home a few weeks later.  For some reason, I agreed to go to the party.  I guess I still had my crush on him.  He was so nice to me.  His family was there.  His girlfriend, yes girlfriend, was not there.  After the party, he had asked me to stay and was talking to me.  He apologized again for his behavior at the hospital.  I told him I forgave him. That’s when things went…well, they changed.  I thought he was asking me out or something when he said he wanted to be with me.  I was so naive.  I was still a virgin then.  He was so beautiful and I completely let him seduce me even after he said it was just going to be one night.  I wanted the memory.”  She glance at Donnie.  “Do you want me to keep going?” she asked.  He nodded.  “Okay.  It ended up not being for just that one night.  He wanted to keep seeing me.  Or at least keep fucking me.”  She saw Donnie flinch when she said it.  “Even after he got married and had a child, he was still fu…having sex with me multiple times a week unless he was” she paused “out-of-town.  Even then, he would fly me to where he was sometimes.  I couldn’t let myself have close friends or try to date anyone without risking that they would find out.  You were at least slightly suspicious right away, weren’t you?” she asked.

“Sometimes, when you change your mind about what you are saying mid-word, you pause and find the right word.  You did it a minute ago.”

“Yes.  I did.  I’ve always been forbidden to talk about him or his life. I never asked about things at home.  I did see pictures of his little boy.  He is precious looking.  I’ve been hiding him for so long that it’s second nature to me to make sure I don’t say things that could help anyone identify him.”

“Are you still…” Donnie started but wasn’t sure how to finish his question.

“No.  I’m not.  He told me that I needed to explore what was happening with you.”

“He knows about me?” he asked.  Kate nodded.  “So when did the two of you end things?”  He looked back over at her.  She looked really guilty.

“The day after you kissed me the first time.”

Donnie was silent for a minute remembering their kiss from that night. Then he remembered the next day.  “That was him!” he cried.  “On the phone.  He was asleep and he answered your phone.  Shit.  I’ve spoken to the only man who’s ever touched you.” He slowed the car down and pulled over.  He needed to look her in the eyes.  “Why aren’t you still seeing him?”

“Donnie, I love you. Why would I still see…” she started.

“No, not now.  Why did things end that day?” he demanded.

“I kind of upset him.  I hadn’t been able to sleep all night thanks to you.  When I finally fell asleep I was dreaming about your kiss.  Apparently he showed up without telling me he was coming for a visit and joined me in bed while I was dreaming of you and that kiss.  I was dreaming it was you doing all the things he was doing to me and I called out your name when I came.” She looked down.

“I imagine he was highly pissed off.  He kept you for himself all that time and you call out another man’s name on him…my name.” Donnie smirked.  “Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.  So he got mad and left?”

“No, I” she paused “apologized…”

“Fuck,” Donnie whispered.

“And he apologized for being jealous.  After you called later, he packed his things and told me that we should take a break from things and I should explore things with you.  He told me not to call him.”

“And?”

“We haven’t had any contact since he left. Not one word.”

Donnie sat there thinking for a few minutes.  Honestly, it was more than a few minutes.   Kate  had been having an illicit affair with a married man for years.  However, that man  had obviously instructed her quite well in all things sexual.   He couldn’t hold anything against her that she had done before.  He absolutely loved this woman sitting in the car with him.  He decided in that moment that he was never letting her go.  “I love you Kate.  Thank you for being honest with me. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

She leaned over and kissed him.  “I love you too.  Thank you for understanding.”  He nodded and they got back on the road.

Donnie’s party was crazy.  Kate spent most of the night working, but at the end of the party Donnie had pulled her out on the dance floor with him and practically made out with her. The videos and pictures of that were going to be all over the internet by morning.  However, as much as Donnie liked some privacy about certain things, he knew that very public displays were something very new and exciting to Kate.  There was also the fact that he couldn’t keep his hands off of her.

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