In 2002, Keith released his second album in the States, Golden Road. 2002 became a tough year for him and Jenn.
Randy was in the Air Force Reserves and he was gone for additional training from October, 2001 to April, 2002. Keith tried to keep Jenn company when he had time off. When Randy came home that spring, things were really ugly. It seemed as though nothing Jenn did was good enough.
One night, she and Randy had gone out with Keith to a club to have a little fun. Jenn had drunk a strawberry margarita. Tequila always did her in and tonight was no exception. She wanted to dance and, as usual, Randy let Keith do the dancing with her.
Soon they were lost in the crowd. Keith asked her what was wrong.
“He just irritates the hell out of me. He complains that I never initiate sex. He never touches me unless we are in bed! Otherwise, he’s complaining about me or something I do, or don’t do.”
“I’m sorry, Jenny.”
It always got to her when Keith called her Jenny. “Don’t men realize that they have to be nice to women?” She said burying her face against his neck.
“Some guys do . . . some of us do,” he said, gently rubbing her back and trying to comfort her. He saw Randy sitting back at their table, drinking a beer. He was oblivious to his wife’s pain. He was too self centered to see how much he was hurting her.
Keith just continued to dance with Jenn, offering her a temporary escape from her world. He could tell she was drunk. He didn’t like to see her using alcohol to cover her pain, but knowing that it only took one drink to get her this way, made him feel a bit better about it. She couldn’t be drinking very much or very often for one drink to make her this way.
He drove her and Randy home and crashed in their guestroom. He could hear them having sex. He never heard Jenn make the first sound. There were no words spoken. He heard a few masculine noises and then silence. He heard Jenn get out of bed and tiptoe down the hall to the bathroom past the guestroom. He heard her crying softly and got up to comfort her. He got out of bed and walked down the hall and stood outside the door. He reached for the knob, but then stopped. What could him possible say to her that would be appropriate. ‘I’m sorry I overheard you having sex and that you didn’t get off . . . ’ No way that would go over well. He turned and went back to bed, closing the door behind him to help block out the sound of her crying.
In February of 2003, Randy was sent to Germany with the military. It was just for two weeks, but it was sort of a break that Jennifer needed. Keith spent some time with her and she went to one of his shows.
Randy came home more depressed than ever. Jenn tried to encourage him to get help, but he wanted her to fix his problems. She tried to explain to him that he needed more help than she could give, but he would have no part of it.
She had long since given up on trying to make Randy happy. She learned that you can only make one person happy and that’s you. Randy needed to learn that. She loved him but she was getting really tired of waiting to see what kind of mood he was in, so she could plan her day. If he was cranky, she had to be on her best behavior. If he was in a good mood, she could plan for a good day.
One night she was at work and Keith called her. She had been working extra shifts to avoid being home. She was now exhausted and sick. Keith tried to get her to go home. “I can’t go home now Keith. It’s one in the morning. I’d wake him up and get bitched at. Plus with all my coughing and sneezing, he’d never get any sleep and then he’d be really cranky.”
Keith sighed. He was about to say something he’d been wanting to say for a long time. “Jenn, why don’t you just leave and find someone who’ll love you the way you ought to be loved?” He heard silence for a few minutes.
“Keith, he does love me. He just shows it differently. Besides you know how I feel about divorce.”
“Jenn, you don’t even realize how badly he treats you.”
“I do realize it . . . ”
“No. You don’t realize it or you wouldn’t still be there.” She didn’t respond to him. “What if he left? Would you go after him?”
“No way. If he’s fool enough to leave me, he’s without me forever. Love is too hard. I don’t think I’d have gotten married if I had known it would be like this.”
“Jenn, it isn’t always the way it is for you and Randy. Some people are really happy. I hope you can find that one day.”
Jenn was crying. “I’ve gotta go Keith. There’s a problem with on of our patients.”
He knew she was at least half serious. “Yeah, Head Nurse duty calls,” he paused. “I love you, Jenny.”
“Love you too, Keith.”