While in the shower, you remembered the first time you met the Backstreet Boys. You had been working as a traveling RN for a hospital in Florida. Kevin had gotten some sort of kidney infection and was in terrible pain. The rest of the group tagged along with him to the emergency room and you were the nurse assigned to him. Not only did you have to (get to) put a catheter in Kevin, but the guys did a little mini serenade to you once you had made Kevin stop moaning and complaining about how bad he hurt. Kevin had gotten a healthy dose of morphine, a potent pain medication, and was agreeable to almost anything. But he was still being awfully hard on Nick. You understood that Kevin still felt bad, but you hated that Nick was so sensitive to the whole thing. You felt bad for him and went out of your way to make Nick feel more comfortable too. You took him with you when you went to lunch. He was a cute little blonde haired kid and really shy. He was very sweet. You ended up getting invited to hear them sing the next weekend and so the pattern started. You saw them frequently for the next few years. Six years ago you decided to go back to school and do something more with your life.
Still you and Nick had been very close. You had always suspected that he had some sort of misguided crush on you. But he was almost nine years younger than you. That didn’t mean that the two of you didn’t tease one another though. Even the rest of the guys claimed that the reason you were still single was that you were waiting on the Nickster to grow up.
You dropped the soap in the shower and nearly slipped trying to pick it up when the phone rang, startling you. You had a speaker extension in the bathroom. After nearly slipping yet again, you press “talk” on the speaker phone. “Hello,” you called while wiping off your face.
“I just love the way you sound when you’re getting all wet,” you heard a voice say.
“Nickster! Dammit! What if you had dialed the wrong number?”
“I know how you sound on your speaker phone.”
“And how do I sound?”
“Actually, you sound tired.” There was a pause. “And lonely.”
“Nick, I’m not lonely! But I am exhausted.”
“Yeah, you work way too much.”
“I know. I guess it’s a good thing I’m starting seventeen days vacation in the morning, huh?”
“What? Really? You weren’t teasing me in that last email?”
“Really. I’m going on vacation. I need the rest.”
“Are you gonna come visit me?” he asked softly.
“I think I have to. If I don’t, you might forget me.”
“How could I forget the woman that I dream about every night?” he teased.
“You are so full of crap,” you answered while rinsing soap off.
“I know. But that’s why you love me, right?”
You smiled at him even though he couldn’t see it. “Yeah, that’s why I love you Nickster.”
“She loves me!” he sang.
“That and the fact that your big brother Kevin gives one hell of a good massage.”
“You have never had a massage from me, Kate.” You snickered. He ignored it. “So when are you gonna come see me?”
“I’m supposed to fly out of here in the morning. I’ll land in Miami at 1027am. I’m taking Northwest. Are you gonna be able to pick me up, or should I rent a car?”
“I’ll pick you up.”
“Um, Nickster, how come you didn’t leave me a message today like everyone else?”
“Because I know you and I know your schedule. I didn’t want to talk to your answering machine or your cell phone. I just want you.”
“How do you want me?” you teased him back finally.
Nick laughed. “Uh, pretty much how you are right now.”
“Huh?”
“Naked and wet. Goodnight Kate. Love ya.”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “Love you too. Goodnight.” You hung up the speaker phone and cut off the water and dried off. You couldn’t help but start to think.
All this teasing was fun, but it would be different when you were around him in person. He had always looked so young to you. You hadn’t really seen any pictures of him and the guys that were recent. You felt that it would be harder to see how much they were changing without you there to see it, so you avoided pictures and videos.
Over the years, Nick and you had changed your relationship. With emails, phone calls, and online chats, things had gotten pretty crazy. You and Nick were always talking about sex. Some of your online chats bordered on cybersex. But the two of you always seemed to be joking. On the phone, however, there were only limited conversations where, when you were down, Nick would tell you to imagine him holding you in his arms. And if he was upset or stressed, you would talk him through a hug or a verbal massage. The verbal massage always got comments from the other. “Watch the hands!” and “You wish.”
But there was also the constant joking about secret rendezvous after concerts or meetings. Still, deep down, you still saw Nick as a teenager, a young teenager. Kevin tried to warn you that Nick was all grown up now. He said that Nick was even taller than he was now. But it just wouldn’t reconcile in your mind with that image of him as a scrawny 15 or 16-year-old. Half the time you felt like a pedophile for even talking to him the way you do. It didn’t matter that he was usually the one to start all of the flirting.